John and Diana just can’t seem to see eye to eye in their marriage anymore. They feel that all they do is argue about little things, never finding a resolution. They feel like every day is a struggle to connect and they are starting to resent each other.
Like John and Diana, all couples experience communication problems at one time or another. However, couples can move beyond arguing by developing their communication skills.
My experience shows that the Relationship Advice process that I have developed is very powerful for providing several successful strategies for overcoming such disagreements. It is a good solution to many relationship issues; an alternative to a long and costly traditional Marriage Counseling process.
Set aside time to talk about serious issues: You do not have to be a Psychologist in order to agree that you can’t communicate effectively about hot-button issues when you are rushing out the door to work, wrangling with the kids, or thinking about your to-do list. You need to give your marriage the same time and attention that you spend on other important aspects of your life. Make a date to discuss your feelings, and then sit down with your spouse in a relaxed setting.
Create shared goals: Before sitting down to the conversation with your partner, spend some time thinking about your shared goals. What are your hopes for resolving your marital issues? Can you share with your spouse your desired end-result? Too many arguments continue simply because both sides don’t know what they want from their partner. Or (even worse) – they demand an exact behavioral outcome and would not tolerate nothing else. If you have a hard time defining your goals, a few sessions with the Relationship Advice provider will restructure expectations.
Be positive: When talking with your spouse, stay positive. Don’t badger, criticize, stonewall, or get defensive. These are negative strategies that will hinder the connection between you and your partner, leading to even more resentment and anger. If negativity has taken over your relationship, seek out individual Relationship Advice sessions for learning new ways to reach out to your spouse.
Prioritize and stay on topic: Sometimes it feels like one problem leads to another, but don’t let yourself get bogged down by dealing with it all at once. Prioritize and then focus on one issue at a time. Write down you specific ‘item’ and keep it in hand during the conversation with your spouse. Another useful technique is paraphrasing your partner’s perspective; differentiate between ‘feelings’ and ‘thinking’; compare them to your ‘feelings’ and thinking’. Do not mix actual facts of specific events with your way of generalizing your partner’s behavioral patterns.
Use active listening: Nothing tells your partner that you don’t care like appearing to not listen. Set aside distractions like the cell phone and work. Face each other and be sure to use good eye contact. And: read again the suggestion about paraphrasing your partner’s perspective…
Take a time out: If things get too intense and the conversation turns negative, take a break. Professionals affirm that it’s OK to say, “I need some time to clarify what I want in this conversation. Let’s talk again in a bit.” Temporarily walking away can help you stay solution-focused. Don’t forget to finish the conversations; do not vanish.
**********************
Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA. Tel 717-943.0959 Online Psychologist and Life Coach: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice and Management Consulting. Online Counseling and Small Business Advice
online counseling
online marriage counseling
family counseling
life coach
Small Business Advice
Monday, February 28, 2011
Strengthening Emotional Compatibility as a Pre-requisite for Marriage Counseling Success
Emotional compatibility is a common cause for arguments between married couples. Everyone brings different perspectives and experiences to the table when they are involved in a relationship, so it would be unwise to expect that partners match up exactly. However, it is important to learn how to respect your partner’s different emotional needs. Learning this skill during the process of marriage counseling can help your relationship with your partner grow stronger.
Often, both partners have different levels of emotional needs. Sometimes one partner craves deeper levels of expression and communication than the other partner. One partner may seek out long, drawn-out conversations about how they feel. They may want their partner to do the same. For the other partner, a person who doesn’t crave so much depth of feeling, this situation can be overwhelming and frustrating. These different expectations can cause difficulties.
Relationship Advice experts have also found that many couples have different ways of reacting to the world emotionally. On one hand, one partner may experience strong emotions to everyday events. They may cry at movies, laugh loud and long at dinner, or be quick to anger when the children are naughty. On the other hand, the other partner may be more emotionally steady. They may take more time to react to situations and spend more time thinking things through before showing an emotional reaction.
Every relationship has obstacles, but smart couples seek out resources to overcome those obstacles. When arguments arise between partners who have different emotional needs, marriage counseling can help guide the couple back to meeting each other’s needs in a loving way.
A Relationship Advice expert can help each individual identify their most important emotional needs and learn how to reach out to their partner in a positive, loving manner. Some of the areas of emotional needs that couple should examine are: affection, sexual fulfillment, and conversation. Each partner will usually be encouraged to write down their list of emotional needs under each category so that they will remember details when communicating them later.
Often it is at this point that men and women are surprised to see that the needs they have listed are so different from each other. Psychological research shows that men and women do in fact look for different types of support and care from their partners. On one hand, men can overlook their female partner’s need for more affection and verbal affirmation. One the other hand, women sometimes do not recognize that their male partner requires more physical attention than they do.
Once each individual’s needs are out in the open, a professional Relationship Advice provider will usually meet with the couple together. The marriage counseling process then can approach the couple’s communication with each other so that each partner is able to fairly and openly express their needs. Many couples will want to refer to their journal or notes that they wrote during their individual session with the counselor. With professional guidance, the couple will learn the good communication skills necessary for negotiating a plan to meet their individual emotional needs. Developing emotional compatibility is therefore fundamental for a strong and lasting marital relationship.
**************************
Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA. Tel 717-943.0959 Online Psychologist and Life Coach: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice and Management Consulting. Online Counseling and Small Business Advice
online counseling
online marriage counseling
family counseling
life coach
Small Business Advice
Often, both partners have different levels of emotional needs. Sometimes one partner craves deeper levels of expression and communication than the other partner. One partner may seek out long, drawn-out conversations about how they feel. They may want their partner to do the same. For the other partner, a person who doesn’t crave so much depth of feeling, this situation can be overwhelming and frustrating. These different expectations can cause difficulties.
Relationship Advice experts have also found that many couples have different ways of reacting to the world emotionally. On one hand, one partner may experience strong emotions to everyday events. They may cry at movies, laugh loud and long at dinner, or be quick to anger when the children are naughty. On the other hand, the other partner may be more emotionally steady. They may take more time to react to situations and spend more time thinking things through before showing an emotional reaction.
Every relationship has obstacles, but smart couples seek out resources to overcome those obstacles. When arguments arise between partners who have different emotional needs, marriage counseling can help guide the couple back to meeting each other’s needs in a loving way.
A Relationship Advice expert can help each individual identify their most important emotional needs and learn how to reach out to their partner in a positive, loving manner. Some of the areas of emotional needs that couple should examine are: affection, sexual fulfillment, and conversation. Each partner will usually be encouraged to write down their list of emotional needs under each category so that they will remember details when communicating them later.
Often it is at this point that men and women are surprised to see that the needs they have listed are so different from each other. Psychological research shows that men and women do in fact look for different types of support and care from their partners. On one hand, men can overlook their female partner’s need for more affection and verbal affirmation. One the other hand, women sometimes do not recognize that their male partner requires more physical attention than they do.
Once each individual’s needs are out in the open, a professional Relationship Advice provider will usually meet with the couple together. The marriage counseling process then can approach the couple’s communication with each other so that each partner is able to fairly and openly express their needs. Many couples will want to refer to their journal or notes that they wrote during their individual session with the counselor. With professional guidance, the couple will learn the good communication skills necessary for negotiating a plan to meet their individual emotional needs. Developing emotional compatibility is therefore fundamental for a strong and lasting marital relationship.
**************************
Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA. Tel 717-943.0959 Online Psychologist and Life Coach: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice and Management Consulting. Online Counseling and Small Business Advice
online counseling
online marriage counseling
family counseling
life coach
Small Business Advice
Relationship Advice to New Parents via Online Counseling
When Jane and Mark brought home their precious newborn daughter from the hospital, they couldn’t have been happier. However, as the days wore on, they found themselves feeling isolated and out of tune with each other. Balancing their new roles and duties exhausted the couple and they needed professional counseling help to get back on track. Like Jane and Mark, most couples find that bringing home a new baby is one of the most joyous occasions in a person’s life, but it also comes with stressors for the new parents.
Online Counseling with a Relationship Advice expert offers a useful solution for couples that are on the bumpy path of new parenthood.
First and basic Relationship Advice is to encourage asking for help when it’s needed. We all are too hard when time comes to ask favors… Family and friends are over the moon to watch their loved ones embrace a new baby. They usually want to help but don’t know how. Perhaps they can drop dinner by one night. Or when they come over to cuddle the baby, they might also be able to put in a load of dishes for you. One of the best gifts for a new mother is being able to catch a nap while a family member or friend takes care of the baby. By asking for help, the new couple develops a support system for themselves.
A second direction is encouraging new parents to relate and rely on each other in new ways and so time alone together can be critical for maintaining a strong relationship. It’s difficult for new parents to keep up with the day-to-day care of a needy newborn, much less set aside time to engage in fulfilling conversations. Making a date—away from the baby—can be a good time to discuss feelings about changes in family roles and responsibilities. Some parents feel a sense of isolation or even ambivalence about parenthood at first.
A third Relationship Advice is based on my marriage counseling experience: it is especially important for husbands to check regarding the possibility of post-partum depression. By setting aside time together, husbands can show appreciation and concern for their partners. This support can be mutual in order to maintain or strengthen emotional health despite the challenges of adjusting to parenthood.
The fourth recommendation is that each new parent will set aside some time to be away from their baby and spouse. It is easy for parents to become overwhelmed by their new roles when baby arrives. Many new parents complain that although they love being a parent, they miss who they were before. As a Relationship Advice counselor I encourage new parents to know that these feelings can be easily mitigated. New parents who are feeling out of touch with themselves should take some time to interact with an old friend or engage in a favorite hobby. Sometimes just being alone to think or write in a journal can be helpful too.
The fifth helpful technique is helping new parents map out resources, such as family and friends, readings, webinars, free counseling sources and so which they can rely on to cope with the added workload and parenthood challenges.
Together, these five approaches will decrease the stress that often burden new parents.
The entire support process could be handled via Online Counseling: phone or web-cam. Professional Relationship Advice and Life Coach mentoring can be useful in guiding new parents find ways to cope with stresses of their new roles.
*******************************
Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA. Tel 717-943.0959 Online Psychologist and Life Coach: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice and Management Consulting. Online Counseling and Small Business Advice
online counseling
online marriage counseling
family counseling
life coach
Small Business Advice
Online Counseling with a Relationship Advice expert offers a useful solution for couples that are on the bumpy path of new parenthood.
First and basic Relationship Advice is to encourage asking for help when it’s needed. We all are too hard when time comes to ask favors… Family and friends are over the moon to watch their loved ones embrace a new baby. They usually want to help but don’t know how. Perhaps they can drop dinner by one night. Or when they come over to cuddle the baby, they might also be able to put in a load of dishes for you. One of the best gifts for a new mother is being able to catch a nap while a family member or friend takes care of the baby. By asking for help, the new couple develops a support system for themselves.
A second direction is encouraging new parents to relate and rely on each other in new ways and so time alone together can be critical for maintaining a strong relationship. It’s difficult for new parents to keep up with the day-to-day care of a needy newborn, much less set aside time to engage in fulfilling conversations. Making a date—away from the baby—can be a good time to discuss feelings about changes in family roles and responsibilities. Some parents feel a sense of isolation or even ambivalence about parenthood at first.
A third Relationship Advice is based on my marriage counseling experience: it is especially important for husbands to check regarding the possibility of post-partum depression. By setting aside time together, husbands can show appreciation and concern for their partners. This support can be mutual in order to maintain or strengthen emotional health despite the challenges of adjusting to parenthood.
The fourth recommendation is that each new parent will set aside some time to be away from their baby and spouse. It is easy for parents to become overwhelmed by their new roles when baby arrives. Many new parents complain that although they love being a parent, they miss who they were before. As a Relationship Advice counselor I encourage new parents to know that these feelings can be easily mitigated. New parents who are feeling out of touch with themselves should take some time to interact with an old friend or engage in a favorite hobby. Sometimes just being alone to think or write in a journal can be helpful too.
The fifth helpful technique is helping new parents map out resources, such as family and friends, readings, webinars, free counseling sources and so which they can rely on to cope with the added workload and parenthood challenges.
Together, these five approaches will decrease the stress that often burden new parents.
The entire support process could be handled via Online Counseling: phone or web-cam. Professional Relationship Advice and Life Coach mentoring can be useful in guiding new parents find ways to cope with stresses of their new roles.
*******************************
Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA. Tel 717-943.0959 Online Psychologist and Life Coach: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice and Management Consulting. Online Counseling and Small Business Advice
online counseling
online marriage counseling
family counseling
life coach
Small Business Advice
My Five Life Coach Areas
As a Life coach I will provide you with the support you need to focus on building a successful and fulfilling future. Perhaps you are at a crossroads, need to make decisions or move forward? Maybe you’re not sure about the next step or are just stuck in a rut?
First, I will often start by guiding you in identifying your skills, values, and desires. Then, you will get help clarifying the path you need to take to move ahead. With my support and guidance while implementing your plan, you will feel confident in your success.
Generally speaking, a life coach can help with many areas of your life and improve your psychological well-being.
Here are five areas of my Life Coach work; you can say that there are five life aspects that most likely I can help you to improve.
Healthy Choices. Put a halt to the unhealthy habits that are dragging you down and begin to look forward to a healthier future. Have you tried over and over again to quit smoking? Are you determined to begin a healthier diet? A life coach can help you discover the power within yourself to make better choices. Transcend the rut that you’ve been caught in and build confidence. Allow yourself to get caught up in a self-fulfilling cycle of your own success.
Money Decisions. Do you wish you had more money at the end of the month? Or, even better, some extra cash to stash away for your retirement? Perhaps you are making a good living but just don’t seem to be able to save as much as you could with a little focus. A life coach can help you reach your money goals and increase your financial intelligence. Start making decisions that will build and protect your hard-earned wealth.
Career Planning. Collaborating with a life coach can move your career forward. Together, you can assess your interests, skills, and goals. You will be guided in determining how you can get ahead in your current job or grow into a new position. By researching and exploring potential new paths that match your desires, you will find self-fulfillment and increase your earning power. Create a plan of action and reach your goals with the help of a life coach.
Self Esteem. Self-esteem is the hallmark of good mental health. Begin to feel secure in your relationships. Learn how to acknowledge your positive contribution to the people and situations around you. Let the image that you project to the world shine!
Time with a life coach gives you the opportunity to talk about your problems and feelings in a non-judgmental situation so you can begin to take action for better mental health.
Satisfying relationships. A life coach can support you in making your positive changes for important relationships in your life. Your coach will help you clearly envision how to improve your marriage, guide you through parenting problems, set you on a path to successful dating relationships, assist in recovery after a divorce, or even mediate problems between you and a family member. Your life coach will help you become more effective at building satisfying relationships in all aspects of your life.
***************************
Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA. Tel 717-943.0959 Online Psychologist and Life Coach: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice and Management Consulting. Online Counseling and Small Business Advice
online counseling
online marriage counseling
family counseling
life coach
Small Business Advice
First, I will often start by guiding you in identifying your skills, values, and desires. Then, you will get help clarifying the path you need to take to move ahead. With my support and guidance while implementing your plan, you will feel confident in your success.
Generally speaking, a life coach can help with many areas of your life and improve your psychological well-being.
Here are five areas of my Life Coach work; you can say that there are five life aspects that most likely I can help you to improve.
Healthy Choices. Put a halt to the unhealthy habits that are dragging you down and begin to look forward to a healthier future. Have you tried over and over again to quit smoking? Are you determined to begin a healthier diet? A life coach can help you discover the power within yourself to make better choices. Transcend the rut that you’ve been caught in and build confidence. Allow yourself to get caught up in a self-fulfilling cycle of your own success.
Money Decisions. Do you wish you had more money at the end of the month? Or, even better, some extra cash to stash away for your retirement? Perhaps you are making a good living but just don’t seem to be able to save as much as you could with a little focus. A life coach can help you reach your money goals and increase your financial intelligence. Start making decisions that will build and protect your hard-earned wealth.
Career Planning. Collaborating with a life coach can move your career forward. Together, you can assess your interests, skills, and goals. You will be guided in determining how you can get ahead in your current job or grow into a new position. By researching and exploring potential new paths that match your desires, you will find self-fulfillment and increase your earning power. Create a plan of action and reach your goals with the help of a life coach.
Self Esteem. Self-esteem is the hallmark of good mental health. Begin to feel secure in your relationships. Learn how to acknowledge your positive contribution to the people and situations around you. Let the image that you project to the world shine!
Time with a life coach gives you the opportunity to talk about your problems and feelings in a non-judgmental situation so you can begin to take action for better mental health.
Satisfying relationships. A life coach can support you in making your positive changes for important relationships in your life. Your coach will help you clearly envision how to improve your marriage, guide you through parenting problems, set you on a path to successful dating relationships, assist in recovery after a divorce, or even mediate problems between you and a family member. Your life coach will help you become more effective at building satisfying relationships in all aspects of your life.
***************************
Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA. Tel 717-943.0959 Online Psychologist and Life Coach: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice and Management Consulting. Online Counseling and Small Business Advice
online counseling
online marriage counseling
family counseling
life coach
Small Business Advice
Relationship Advice about Infidelity
Infidelity is one of the most heart-wrenching problems a marriage can face because it shakes the base of trust on which relationships are built. However, it is not inevitable that all couples divorce after such an event. It is natural that couples have a hard time to re-connect and re-build trust that they lost as a result of one partner’s infidelity. Working together with a relationship advice counselor, many couples find the power they need to heal and move forward in their marriage.
The act of ‘cheating’ may take many forms, and each couple has their own definition of when the line is crossed. One on end of the spectrum, some partners consider flirtatious behavior or looking at pornography as stepping outside the bounds of their marriage. Others consider an emotional connection with another person to be damaging to the marriage. Most everyone would agree that an attraction to another person leading to sexual relations constitutes infidelity. The bottom line, however, in all these situations is that one partner engages in secret behavior that compels them to lie and be deceptive.
A relationship advice counselor can help bridge that gaping hole in trust and communication caused by the affair. While the offended partner needs to express their feelings of insecurity and hurt, often a counselor will move quickly through the details of the infidelity. Dwelling too long on the details will only instill an increased sense of blame and continued resentment. Instead, couples seeking help as a result of one partner breaching trust need to look forward and learn how to re-connect.
Re-building trust is not easy, but a god relationship expert can guide a hurting couple through the process. Each partner will need to learn how to express emotions in a manner that is both healthy and constructive. A counselor may suggest some ground rules that couples can use for communicating during intense emotional times.
These rules may include:
Discuss only one problem at a time. While it might seem that all your problems are inter-connected, don’t let the conversation escalate by tackling them all at once.
Own your perspective. Avoid getting caught in a blame game by starting your sentences with the phrase, “I feel.”
Be specific. Move the conversation forward by avoiding over-generalizations like “always” and “never.” Give concrete examples instead of vague complaints to show your perspective.
Take a time out. If the conversation gets too intense and you are having trouble staying in control of your reactions, it’s OK to take a break. Just tell your partner that you need a moment to walk around and compose yourself.
A relationship advice expert acts as a neutral party and can help both marriage partners feel safe in expressing themselves without needing to employ ‘power plays’ or using anger to have their perspective heard. The counseling environment promotes open communication and problem solving that can help re-build a sense of emotional intimacy between marital partners. When a couple can re-connect emotionally, with the help of a good coach, they are one step closer to regaining their physical connection.
****************************
Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA. Tel 717-943.0959 Online Psychologist and Life Coach: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice and Management Consulting. Online Counseling and Small Business Advice
online counseling
online marriage counseling
family counseling
life coach
Small Business Advice
The act of ‘cheating’ may take many forms, and each couple has their own definition of when the line is crossed. One on end of the spectrum, some partners consider flirtatious behavior or looking at pornography as stepping outside the bounds of their marriage. Others consider an emotional connection with another person to be damaging to the marriage. Most everyone would agree that an attraction to another person leading to sexual relations constitutes infidelity. The bottom line, however, in all these situations is that one partner engages in secret behavior that compels them to lie and be deceptive.
A relationship advice counselor can help bridge that gaping hole in trust and communication caused by the affair. While the offended partner needs to express their feelings of insecurity and hurt, often a counselor will move quickly through the details of the infidelity. Dwelling too long on the details will only instill an increased sense of blame and continued resentment. Instead, couples seeking help as a result of one partner breaching trust need to look forward and learn how to re-connect.
Re-building trust is not easy, but a god relationship expert can guide a hurting couple through the process. Each partner will need to learn how to express emotions in a manner that is both healthy and constructive. A counselor may suggest some ground rules that couples can use for communicating during intense emotional times.
These rules may include:
Discuss only one problem at a time. While it might seem that all your problems are inter-connected, don’t let the conversation escalate by tackling them all at once.
Own your perspective. Avoid getting caught in a blame game by starting your sentences with the phrase, “I feel.”
Be specific. Move the conversation forward by avoiding over-generalizations like “always” and “never.” Give concrete examples instead of vague complaints to show your perspective.
Take a time out. If the conversation gets too intense and you are having trouble staying in control of your reactions, it’s OK to take a break. Just tell your partner that you need a moment to walk around and compose yourself.
A relationship advice expert acts as a neutral party and can help both marriage partners feel safe in expressing themselves without needing to employ ‘power plays’ or using anger to have their perspective heard. The counseling environment promotes open communication and problem solving that can help re-build a sense of emotional intimacy between marital partners. When a couple can re-connect emotionally, with the help of a good coach, they are one step closer to regaining their physical connection.
****************************
Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA. Tel 717-943.0959 Online Psychologist and Life Coach: Marriage Counseling, Relationship Advice and Management Consulting. Online Counseling and Small Business Advice
online counseling
online marriage counseling
family counseling
life coach
Small Business Advice
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