Friday, July 18, 2008

Online Counseling Summary: The Marriage Did Not Survive; But The Wife Was Saved

Online Counseling Summary: The Marriage Did Not Survive; But The Wife Was Saved

You may entitle this summary as an example of a successful Online Counseling rescue from domestic violence through the process of EMPOWERMENT.

At one point after four months of marriage, M. was puzzled, hurt and frightened. She had started a new job and gave her phone number to a male colleague also new and in training. When he called, one evening, her husband became furious. M. was gentle and willing to “compensate”, but his sexual behavior was close to violence. M. felt as a rape victim.
Later he checked her phone and found that she had returned a call to her co-worker. He accused her of ‘acting cheap’, said he couldn't trust her anymore, pulled from a hidden drawer some illegal drugs (his prior addiction) and walked out for several hours.

M. was stunned: not only from his abuse of her but his wedding promise not to abuse drugs!

M. recalled that while they were dating there were several social encounters in which she was embarrassed by her husband’s rude and controlling remarks regarding her supposedly staring at other men. He was very agitated, but not violent, she commented. She also admitted that her instincts were to protest, but her irrational fear from childhood memories about her father’s estrangement after a conflict with her mother, blocked all oppositions. And yes, M. feared canceling the wedding plans.
The last episode, was so alarming for her, it elicited a new fear, thoughts of divorce.

A good decision is born from a good assessment; the Online Counseling method was called for.
I first helped M. to tune to her feelings: she could not however compromise the love for her husband with his abuse behavior. Violence and drugs were not an option!
I then helped M. to assess the magnitude of the current problem. She realized that her work environment would always involve interactions with male co-workers. The more she would advance in her job, the more interactions she would have with co-workers thus more insecure and hostile her husband would be.
The next stage of my Online Counseling involvement was to create an action plan. I encouraged M. to talk with her husband about their need for family therapy. He refused. He also rejected her plea to join the online family help process with me.
M. therefore accepted my suggestion regarding a third alternative: to prepare, with many rehearsals, how to initiate a dialogue with her husband. When M. felt ready, she exchanged her views regarding values, expectations, norms and moral guidelines.

M. was not fearful any more. Her marriage had to be either re-defined and re-structured, or terminated.

Two weeks later they both filed for a non-consensual divorce. The Online Counseling process did not save the marriage; but M. was saved.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Online Counseling In Action: Assessing The Chances To Save The Marriage As "Low"

The Problem:
I just started a new job; in sharing a training class I exchanged phone numbers with two male classmates.

When they called, my husband became furious and very angry. Later he went through the phone bill and found out I called them. He said I was a liar and he couldn't trust me anymore.

My Reply:
It is easy to assess, even via short Online Counseling process, that your situation is not easy: you are married to whom you love, but you have realized that he is loaded with an 18th century attitude regarding women and a wife’s behavior in particular.

So be your own psychologist and do the assessment:
If your feeling is that this is insecurity due to an inferiority masculinity issue, use assurance, love and tenderness to work it out.

If you feel it is the old fashion male dominance and jealousy, use your senses and walk out; and the sooner the better.

Your current training activities and future career would not and should not accommodate such an attitude. You also do not want your possible children in the future to treat you and others in this manner. If you plan to leave the marriage, short term Online Counseling would definitely be helpful.

A Son Without a Father? Even Online Counseling Cannot Provide A Quick Fix

My son is now 4 years old and he has never questioned: Do I have a dad? Where is my dad?
The other day I heard him tell a friend that he didn't have a brother or a dad. My son’s father last saw him when he was 6 months old.

My heart broke. I didn't know what to say. Two days later I told him that even though he doesn't have a dad he has a mom who loves him and a granny and papa and cousins, aunts and uncles.

What should I tell him? Can a short Online Counseling help here?

My Reply:
Children should get accurate info only and based on their level of emotional and cognitive development. Examples could be helpful, and you may get them from time to time via the Online Counseling service. Furtheremore, wonderments with questions are always evolving and changing, so it is better to have an on-going relationship with a professional, in order to help find the proper communication that bests serve you, your child and the entire family members.

Good professional advice is based on family history, your son’s developmental stage, his options regarding future communication with his father and other psychological and procedural factors. These factors must be taken in account along the Online Counseling process.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Small Business Advice About Leadership As A Job Stress Preventive Measure

I am a new asst. manager of a restaurant, and its not going very well. I assume I need what you call A Small Business Advice.

I have a staff of either very young girls or older women and I can't seem to find middle ground. The young girls like to laugh and have fun; the older women are very uptight. I need to get the older women to understand that I am in charge.

Please help me relay respect for me from the older women and to the younger ones to respect
their jobs.

My Answer:
First, please be assured that the main problem is not yours, but your manager’s.

You may take to her the following as a Small Business Advice that would motivate to do her job somewhat better:
1. Arrange a very detailed set of missions and assign who is responsible for each (could be a team). Specify levels of standards (quality) and ways of measuring the work / results. This is the MBO (Management By objectives) method. It does take some good hours!

2. Use the team approach in order to further refine the various chores. Let the staff be a partner of the plan. Support them in their input.

3. Build your own team, using well prepared weekly meetings (30-45 minutes).

Approach the business’ owner for a reasonable budget, regarding professional assistance in the above process. A real Small Business Advice requires time! Whatever I just specified sounds easy, but you ought to use a professional.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Individual or Couple's Face To Face / Online Counseling?

In most cases of marriage problems I strongly advise both partners to join a couple's therapy process; either face to face, or via the Online Cou But there are always exceptions...

It all started with the following question:
My husband and I have been a couple for 10 years and married 6. We separated last month due to his affection for another woman.

We had twins 10 weeks premature; our son only lived 7 hours. Our daughter remained in "intensive care" for a month. During that time I never really grieved the loss of my son; I barely even cried. My time was spent making sure that our two older daughters were okay while I made daily trips to the hospital.
When our daughter came home we kept her in our bedroom until she was a year old. I was very over protective. On the home front I was not talking or spending much time with my husband I thought everything would be ok.

It wasn’t. He sought the affection and attention from another woman.
I still love my husband and he says he will always have feelings for me but just doesn't know that we will work. Do you see any hope? Do we need a face to face process or can get the help using Online Counseling?

My Reply:
The loss of your child is indeed a terrible tragedy.
After such an unfortunate loss the "after shock" events that negatively affect a relationship
are natural.

In your particular life situation however, it is safe to assume that there were other disturbing factors already present, prior to your recent pregnancy.

At this point my advice is to seek individual counseling before making a serious effort to
contact your husband. Online Counseling is the preffered method since it would be easyer to keep with (and less expensive). I assume that your emotional state needs comforting prior to any further steps. Focus first on your personal, and emotional strengths.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Break Up Is Hearting; Effective Online Counseling May Be The Learning Opportunity

I dated my girlfriend for almost 6 months.
One day, she told me she wanted a break. I a waited a few days, and then called her. She replied by saying 'I don’t feel the same way about you that you do about me, and that’s not fair to you.' I waited about a month and asked if there was anything I could have done differently. She said 'no, there was nothing you could have done; I just didn’t feel the same way'.

This was a weird breakup for me. 2 weeks before it ended, she was telling me she had all these feelings for me. Why would she tell me that, and then end it 2 weeks later?

I tried so hard to talk to her after she ended it, but she refused. Is there a reason for that?

I’m not sure if these 2 things had an effect: first, I still hadn’t told her yet that I loved her, even though I did. Also, I still hadn’t invited her to meet my family yet (I met hers).

Maybe I wasn’t moving fast enough for her? I had asked her to move in with me, and she only said 'maybe'.
We are both 25.

Do you see anything here which tells you anything? I Assume I need some professional help; can your Online Counseling be effective in my situation?

My reply:
I’ll start with general remarks about dating and relationship building, and thereafter will give you some specific feedback impressions; and yes, Online Counseling can be very effective in your situation.

Generally speaking, the one sided love situation is indeed possible, due to many reasons; personality differences, lack of sexual harmony, different status and background are just a few. Therefore you should not take whatever happened to you as result of you being late (maybe I wasn’t moving fast enough for her?).

Also, just persuasion is not going to create love since this human phenomena is not a rational entity, so do not get discouraged due to your lack of success (I tried so hard to talk to her after she ended it, but she refused).

And the specific feedback:
1. be more emotionally open (I still hadn’t told her yet that I loved her),
2. be reciprocal (I still hadn’t invited her to meet my family yet),
3. learn how to ‘read’ social interactions and others’ feelings (this was a weird breakup for me).

The above three remarks take me to my recommendation: spend some time, emotional resources and even financial ones to get professional guidance in order to better prepare yourself for the coming relationship(s). Online Counseling can be very effective in your situation.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

A Quick Online Counseling Fix A Risky Visitation Situation

The question:
I have a 6 year old child that has no problems what so ever until this last week. She visited her father for the week (he sees her every other weekend).

She was injured there; her fathers girlfriend’s son gave her a black eye (accident or not? I do not know). I have noticed burses on her leg; she told me Papa did it with the belt.

She does tell me that she doesn't like going over there; I know that most of the time on his weekends she is at his parents house, who make her sleep on the floor, because the bed they have for her is a baby bed.

Now she cries when I drop her off at school (I have never had problems with separation anxiety before). Can I get a quick fix of the situaton? Does the Online Counseling method fit here?

My Answer:

Yes, You do not need a face to face meeting, since Online Counceling is strong enough to provide the right support for the situation. The best is to have a 'good talk' with the father. Risky visitation must be immediately stopped.

If this Online Counseling process is not satisfactory, you may ask the social services or the court to intervene in order to provide a supervised visitation arrangement or to authorize some other major changes for the visitation process.

An improved mode of the personal Online Counseling is to come to an agreement with the father to use me or another professional as a formal agreed upon mediator.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Marriage and Drinking: What Online Counseling Can Do?

The question:

My husband and I aren't getting along. I'm mad cause I think he drinks too much and is not prioritizing his responsibilities and leaves everything little thing for me to "worry" about and then when I mention it to him, I'm so frusterated by that time it comes out wrong and the whole thing blows up in to something it shouldn't have.

...He recently had to do treatment because of a dwi...

...He's not violent or a sloppy drunk or anything, but it's just that "addiction" and that he just drinks and drinks...

...I want to enjoy ONE in the evening. I have to hide my pain pills from him too or else he eats them like candy..

...We have not spoke in days cause I went off on him about drinking too much... Do I need Therapy? Do we both need it? Can your Online Counseling method work for us?

My reply:
Drinking is a problem that has many explanations, theories and treatment approaches.

Mine is that everything relates to relationship: either to yourself, or to your significant other(s). This is the underlying basic foundation that elicits the strong attachment to the substance material that becomes the substitute friend. And therefore you would not have too much of a success chance if you use anger to confront the drinker.
You both need a professional help here, since the 'relationship issues' are very complex and not too simple to solve. And 'Yes' - Online Counseling can be the process that you would and should use.

The secondary problem is the addiction. That is why your wish to enjoy (only) ONE in the evening is not realistic and probably counter productive.

Addictions, habits and behavioral patterns are also complex issues to deal with and therefore your chance to succeed without a professional help is not high. Needless to say - Online Counseling can be the process that you would and should use.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

What Online Counseling Can Do Fading Love

Fading Love: How Online Counseling Can Bring The Color Into Your Life
The question:
Although we are not technically married, we've been together three years, and living together for just over one. Our lives are busy and stressful since we're both trying to decide what to do with our careers.

I get that love feeling only some of the time. I'm sure it's the same for him. We both had an argument last night, him saying I'm cold to him and me saying he's cold to me.

Sometimes I find myself thinking about leaving the relationship and search again to have that feeling of being in love again. I'm thinking about therapy, but knowing our lifestyle, Online Counseling would be the better approach for us. Can it indeed help us to keep the love alive, with the little time we have to spend on each other? Thanks.

My Answer:
It could be that your feelings signal the reality: that this relationship has no good future. This is one of the advantages of living together before marriage; something like a test drive. In order to better assess the relationship - a process that usually requires a professional consultation - it is defenitely advisable to use Online Counseling in order to explore the three factors of 'true and long-lasting relationship' theory. These themes or facets of entire relationship are: 1. the degree of current and future intent for commitment to each other, 2. the quality and frequency of shared intimacy experience(s), 3. the quality and quantity of sexuality. To conclude, Online Counseling is a quick and relatively unexpensive method to allow you develop the answers for your question, regarding ‘what to do’.

Online Counseling Advice Regarding Visitation

Online Counseling Advice Regarding Visitation: It Is Not An Easy Issue As It Sounds
The question:
I am a first grade teacher and was married to an airline pilot who cheated, so I ended our marriage. We have a four year old son who is wonderful. I want for my son to see his father...I would NEVER take that away.
BUT due to the constant change of schedule in my ex's life there is NO stability. It changes every 8 weeks and within that 8 weeks there are usually 4-5 changes within those. I’m also experiencing often abuses around it: over a couple of weekends he said he was working but it wasn't so. I need a professional help, but going to a format 'Therapy' does not seem right. Can you provide Online Counseling in my case? The father just didn't keep his promise to have our son over the weekend.

I feel am still being controlled by him and he isn't even my husband!
He already has a foreign lady living with him when we are not even officially divorced....HELP. I am not bitter...just tired. I need advice.

My Answer:
Yes, your issue can be solved via Online Counseling. There are two different relationships here, which require two different attitudes: first is the relationship between the father and the son; my advice is to apply a very assertive attitude. Appropriate visitation scheduling and visitation maintenance are essential issues for your son, and therefore you should inform the court of any (even tiny) changes, and sue damages in behalf of the child. Fight without mercy for your child's parental needs and well-being.

Second is the relationship between you and your X; this on going 'story requires professional help in many cases and Online Counseling is a good guidance tool to use. My advice is to apply a ‘not interested’ and 'I do not care' attitude. Free yourself from the continuous control by ignoring whatever he does. Avoid calculating how complicated your life is while he is having fun. You are separated now, so do not look for any equality. Do not contact him for anything; let the court system or your lawyer help with the divorce process. I admit that this attitude is an easy thing to talk about, and a very hard task to maintain. That is why many in your situation need good continuous professional guidance, and as said above, Online Counseling is an easy way to reach for it.

Instant Online Counseling About 'Do It Right At The Right Time'

Instant Online Counseling About 'Do It Right At The Right Time'
The question:
I am at a crossroads, I have a three year old son and I am divorced. I don't have any relationships on the cards right now, but I want to have another child before my biological time is up.
Can you provide a quick Online Counseling regarding getting pregnant?

My Answer:
I do give from time to time short and instant Online Counseling advice; but your case does not need any 'deep' process at all. Using healthy simple common sense, we know that natural pregnancy has a long term emotional and financial effect, since there is a real father somewhere.

So here it is, and do not call it Online Counseling since there is no need to get into any deep professional process. Just refer to it as an obvious answer: an anonymous sperm donation, from a reputable firm (!!!) that eliminates any contact with the biological father, seems to be a better solution for your situation.

Fighting The Fighting Husband With Online Counseling

Fighting The Fighting Husband With Online Counseling
The question:
I'm 27, my husband is 30. We've been married for about 3 years and dated for about 3 years prior to marriage. My husband is very "worldly" and has hundreds of friends from his past. Lately, my husband has been acting differently. He seems to be depressed sometimes with money issues and easily gets offended when I'm not in "the mood".
Lately he accused me of cheating on him. I love my husband very much and have never cheated on him and I never would.
What could be causing this change in him? Can we explore the situation with your Online Counseling system? We've been having money problems, but nothing serious, and we don't fight about money. Is my husband depressed? Why would he accuse me of cheating on him? Should I be concerned that he's cheating on me?

My Answer:
The tendency to "fight or flight" at times of crisis brings many to be aggressive and passive / depressed at the same time. Online Conseling can definitely guide and direct you to the appropriate ways of providing continuos emotional support (intimacy, sex and leisure sport activities are the best home made remedies). Furtheremore, Online Counseling will assit you to avoid getting into the defensive position of denying accusation. Last but not least: encourage your husband to take immediate Online Counseling himself to combat his vocational / financial issues.

Your comment?

Online Counseling Brings An Old Fashion Husband To The 21St Century

Online Counseling Brings An Old Fashion Husband To The 21St Century
The question:
We have been married two years; have a joint 18 month old daughter + 16 year old son from my wife’s previous marriage.

I am 39 she is 37. She is a teacher and I am also in education, we both have MBA; we do well financially.

We do fight a lot over simple household issues. I am a recovering alcoholic. This is my first marriage, this is her third marriage.

She recently asked me about going with her female friend for the weekend in ‘the big city’ to see a concert and celebrate her birthday. I told her it was a bad idea, for two women to be partying alone as they have had tendencies to get way out of control with drinking.
We argued about. Eventually she said she is almost 40 and she goes wherever whenever she chooses. I don’t think a married person with a family can just do whatever they want whenever they want. I told her if she do it, I would be gone when she came home.
Am I wrong? Do I Nedd Therapy? Maybe Online Counseling? Do I have a right to be angry?

My Answer:
Yes, you do need some kind of a learning lesson; and yes, Online Counseling can be the right and the easiest way to get it. In spite of you academic proof of being officially smart, it seems to me that you:
1. hold a very old fashion and problematic attitude towards women, marriage life, independence and the meaning of friendship.

2. project your won fears from getting into a potential disaster yourself under a similar trip situation.

Grow up! Take the riquired learning time; Online Counseling could be the method if you like. Let your wifw breath! And finally, let me guess: is it true that this “management style” of yours also causes difficulties with the teen age kid?

Your comment?

Online Counseling Case Summary: The Child With The Two Daddies

Online Counseling Case Summary: The Child With The Two Daddies

The question:
My grandson is 5. My daughter and his bio dad never married. There were custody issues.

My daughter has been married for 2 years now. Stepfather is a good man

Since a year ago, out of the blue, bio dad stopped coming or even calling to pick up his son.

We tried to explain to Cody (the child) but actually we had nothing to say. He now calls the step father Daddy; some other times asks where Daddy Jay is (BIO DAD) and why doesn’t he call or come.

Should we get Cody in counseling right away? My daughter can talk to the school psychologist. We feel that he is too young to be told the truth, that bio dad is dead beat with problems of drug abuse.

The Online Counseling Process:
1. First theme was regarding the best of telling the kid the truth: you do not know where he is, and you hope that at a later time, you will find him or he will contact you all.

2. The second issue aimed to de-escalate the situation; the idea was to convince the family that the child’s counseling at this point is unwise

3. The main on-going Online Counseling topic was the guidance and direction that the adult family members needed in order to re-connect with the bio father; they accepted that this is the proper thing to do.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Small Business Advice Regarding Creativity

Small Business Advice Regarding Creativity

We have some rough time at my workplace, due to hostile competitors. Our boss is frequently demanding: ‘Be more creative. Think differently’.
I would like a professional Small Business Advice Provider to clarify what it is all about?

As a Small Business Advice provider I sometime help to transform ideas to reality but some other times just to read together the dictionary; so let me first explain the terms that are being used by your boss:

The ‘regular’ way of thinking will be discussed now, in order for us, later, to understand the demand for a ‘different’ one.
The regular, which is the more conventional and common, type of thinking and decision making, is the ‘logic’, sometimes called ‘analytic’ thinking process. It is usually described as an ongoing flow type of a process, in which one stage of conclusion is leading to the next one, until the best solution is reached.

A simple example of that case, which is not a real Small Business Advice, is the process that most of us use once we cannot find our keys: we search the pockets, then the briefcase, then the table and thereafter the last place that we have been, according to our memory, and so on.

A researcher that taught us a lot regarding our thinking processes, Eduard DeBono, labeled this process as ‘Vertical Thinking’: the stream of thoughts moves like an arrow that continues its motion until the target is hit.

Let us now deal with the other term that your boss waves with: the ‘be creative’ challenge.

The proper way to describe the creative thinking process is sometimes by matching it to a dotted or spiral line that resembles a bird flight route or a frog’s elastic jump’s track; sometimes to the water wave shapes; at times to a fire works sparking lights.
DeBono labeled this process: ‘Lateral Thinking’, to reflect the unstructured, not too easy to predict and often irrational pathway of the thinking process. Following Debono, every Small Business Advice provider will tell you that each creative process has a unique shape, which implies that every creative solution will have its unique and one time original pattern.

We now approach the stage of my answer where it is possible to understand why your boss wants to see more of the creative, lateral thinking.
It is definitely NOT because there is a natural biased preference towards creative thinking, no matter how nice and culturally it sounds. On the contrary: most of our daily challenges are better solved with the ordinary, vertical thinking method. To stress this point I’ll testify that most trainings and improvements processes are giving best results when they present learners with logical / vertical methods of analyzing situations and screening for the best decision that is appropriate for a given case.

To conclude this first Small Business Advice: the call for the creative thinking approach is neither the natural best bet nor the ‘politically correct’ thing to do.

It is the situation, once it is unique or extraordinary complex that calls for the creative approach:
If your competitors play not according to the rules or if the common known tactics that have been already employed did not result with the expected turnarounds that your boss hoped for, the call for creative measures is justified. It implies that you all would welcome the ‘unthinkable’ thoughts; the non-logical but intuitive and gut-feeling reasoning for your suggestions; the application of new and yet unused ideas and methods; the fixture of your current problems with other tools then you have tried before.

Since you did not provide some info about your specific problems, I’ll use an old folk tail to explain my point:
There was a guy who traveled in the jungles, and during one night a monkey stole his precious hat. He did have another one, but was not ready to give up and continue his journey, since the stolen hat, as the second one, were very precious indeed. So he went to the king lion with a very friendly posture and complained against the hostile attitude that he, as a guest in the kingdom, has experienced. The monkey maid it clear to the lion’s aids the there is no chance that the lion’s authority would make a difference. A jungle is a jungle, he reminded them. Our poor guy tried therefore to negotiate, with bananas of course, but there was no prospect for a real deal, since the hat was so precious. Then he had no choice but to play the jungle rules, so he threatened, with his gun. But the smart monkey remind cool, warned him that it is illegal and threatened back that it would cause for an immediate arrest.

So far we have seen the common, known, logic, lateral thinking: we try to be nice, we bargain, and then we threat.

Our story takes us now to the creative thinking process that the desperate fellow started to
employ at that stage. He remembered something from his childhood about the various characters that the children used to attach to animals: the lion is strong, the fox is smart, the chicken is afraid… and monkeys are bunch of imitators! They have no ‘ego’ of their own; they would imitate and follow what they see…

In a sudden, but it was all well thought and planned, our fellow started to shout toward the monkey who was sitting safely well above, on the near tree; he sound very angry, and moved his hands with rage. Then, as an act of contempt, he took his other precious hat, the only one that left, put it on his had, and then took it and threw it hard and with a lot of anger to the floor.

Our monkey did what his genes instructed his brain to do: he imitated the angry man, took the hat, and threw it on the floor too.

Was our hero lucky, smart, genius?
Well, it is up to you to decide.
My story at this point actually attempts to present the second Small Business Advice: a spark of memory, combined with a good application of common know-how (the genes…) can and should lead to a creative solution that is necessary, once the old methods are not effective any more.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Leadership At Home Via Online Counseling

Leadership At Home Via Online Counseling

There are tough times in our family due to tension between us, the parents, and our two teen aged kids. They are less and less obeying the house rules. We do not want to go to formal family therapy sessions; we heard that Online Counseling could be effective enough. Can we get help to maintain our childrens' discipline?

We can miss very quickly the point once we concentrate on the issue of obedience and discipline. It is, many times, a remedy for a failure, to pinpoint and zoom onto the children’s side, and dealing with THEIR defiant behavior. We definitely can use the Online Counseling process to deal with your value system first. This will help to tern the question away from the issue of controlling the kids to the challenge of educating and guiding them.

For that purpose I recommend you to take a look at YOUR end, and re-asses the nature of your parental authoritative power.
Forget the …‘I’m your parent and therefore you do so and so because I say so’… stuff. It belongs to old days that are far gone. No parent should trust that method to work well and for a long time, as it used to be. It is your problem if you tend to stick to it. If so, parents, you better wake up. We are at the 21st century. The Online Counseling guidance process deals with issue in a most successful way.

The term of LEADERSHIP is called for.

The essence of leadership, in short, is the ability to build trust that creates sustained loyalty for you. It is also the process of influencing others to adopt and follow your directions and ideas. You, the parents, can be so and do so through modeling and relationship building.

No, your home is not the political arena, but yes, parents should develop and maintain their leadership position if they want their children to follow their guidelines and their house rules. And please note: leading is not ruling! Parents who are their kids’ leaders tend to worry less regarding the intensity of obedience that they have established and more about the charismatic bonds that they should create. They do not base their expectation on their children’s fear from punishment but on their kids’ decision to maintain their loyalty to their parents.

Since leadership is built through modeling and relationship building, I’ll first explain the concept of modeling:
‘Leading by example’ or ‘walk your talk’ is modeling. And you can check yourselves and your parenting style:
- do you, the parents, involve your kids with family budget planning and spending? This is an opportunity to model financial awareness and responsibility.
- Do you expose them to the various ways you choose to refrain from substances while socializing? This models them a decision making process regarding values and cultural norms.

Smart parents, therefore, choose to act wherever they are as if they are with their kids, who are constantly watching them. This awareness for your role as a model strengthens your ability, as parents, to use the powerful method of modeling. The Online Counseling process is doing the teaching job here: shows you how to show them the ‘how you do’ before you expect them to do.

Finally, a few words about Relationship building: an on-going process that requires RECOGNITION and REWARDING.

The ‘recognition’ term:
suppose your kids want to go to a certain activity that does not seem appropriate to you. Recognition means, in such a case, that you acknowledge their needs before you band their wish. It also means that you appreciate their gains if they would be able to attend and you are aware of their feeling of loss if at the end they would have to give up.

‘Rewarding’ does not necessarily lead parents to their pockets… Rewarding may be a warm ward, a comforting gesture, a thank you note or just an eye to eye look that reviles your wish to pay attention. And by the way: when was the last time that you forward one of those goodies to your kids? So here is another reason to get assistance: use the Online Counseling process to discuss and practice the 'do' and the 'do not' regarding rearding your kids.

So now, dear parents, I can finally conclude my answer:
Online Counseling is a very powerful tool to re-structure parenting style by choosing the proper activities and behaviors that would bring your children to perceive you as their leading figures.

Another way to phrase it: depend on their acceptance and loyalty to the guidelines, not their obedience to you.

What is Online Counseling?

What is Online Counseling?

Online Counseling is the process of interacting with a professional online in ongoing conversations over time when the client and the online psychologist / counselor / consultant are in separate locations and utilize the phone or e-mails or internet video-conferencing technology to communicate with each other.

It is a relatively new modality of assisting individuals resolve life and relationship issues.

The online psychologist / counselor / professional does not treat mental or emotional medical disorders. However, Online Counseling is a professional intervention method that is flexible enough to address many difficulties which clients present to the online professional, such as: career, couples, marriage, sexuality, depression and adjustment issues; this method also works well in solving issues around identity crisis, social anxiety, fear of failing, disturbing thoughts, sense of helplessness, difficulty to plan or to commit, anger at home, work or road, difficulties in relationships, stress & anxiety issues and personal and life improvements’ efforts.

What is an webcam Online Counseling?
This technology allows us to meet in our “virtual office”, which is where our computer is.
The Online counselor uses Internet video-conferencing technology to ’see’ the client at no costs. So in essence, the consultant can be your online guidance resource also while you are touring the world!

Remember: phone or webcam Online Counseling has the same power as a “real” face to face meeting for helping people and organizations resolve issues concerning: stress management, work and family relationship, decision making and moral or ethical dilemmas.