Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Individual or Couple's Face To Face / Online Counseling?

In most cases of marriage problems I strongly advise both partners to join a couple's therapy process; either face to face, or via the Online Cou But there are always exceptions...

It all started with the following question:
My husband and I have been a couple for 10 years and married 6. We separated last month due to his affection for another woman.

We had twins 10 weeks premature; our son only lived 7 hours. Our daughter remained in "intensive care" for a month. During that time I never really grieved the loss of my son; I barely even cried. My time was spent making sure that our two older daughters were okay while I made daily trips to the hospital.
When our daughter came home we kept her in our bedroom until she was a year old. I was very over protective. On the home front I was not talking or spending much time with my husband I thought everything would be ok.

It wasn’t. He sought the affection and attention from another woman.
I still love my husband and he says he will always have feelings for me but just doesn't know that we will work. Do you see any hope? Do we need a face to face process or can get the help using Online Counseling?

My Reply:
The loss of your child is indeed a terrible tragedy.
After such an unfortunate loss the "after shock" events that negatively affect a relationship
are natural.

In your particular life situation however, it is safe to assume that there were other disturbing factors already present, prior to your recent pregnancy.

At this point my advice is to seek individual counseling before making a serious effort to
contact your husband. Online Counseling is the preffered method since it would be easyer to keep with (and less expensive). I assume that your emotional state needs comforting prior to any further steps. Focus first on your personal, and emotional strengths.

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