Sunday, April 13, 2008

Online Counseling Advice Regarding Visitation

Online Counseling Advice Regarding Visitation: It Is Not An Easy Issue As It Sounds
The question:
I am a first grade teacher and was married to an airline pilot who cheated, so I ended our marriage. We have a four year old son who is wonderful. I want for my son to see his father...I would NEVER take that away.
BUT due to the constant change of schedule in my ex's life there is NO stability. It changes every 8 weeks and within that 8 weeks there are usually 4-5 changes within those. I’m also experiencing often abuses around it: over a couple of weekends he said he was working but it wasn't so. I need a professional help, but going to a format 'Therapy' does not seem right. Can you provide Online Counseling in my case? The father just didn't keep his promise to have our son over the weekend.

I feel am still being controlled by him and he isn't even my husband!
He already has a foreign lady living with him when we are not even officially divorced....HELP. I am not bitter...just tired. I need advice.

My Answer:
Yes, your issue can be solved via Online Counseling. There are two different relationships here, which require two different attitudes: first is the relationship between the father and the son; my advice is to apply a very assertive attitude. Appropriate visitation scheduling and visitation maintenance are essential issues for your son, and therefore you should inform the court of any (even tiny) changes, and sue damages in behalf of the child. Fight without mercy for your child's parental needs and well-being.

Second is the relationship between you and your X; this on going 'story requires professional help in many cases and Online Counseling is a good guidance tool to use. My advice is to apply a ‘not interested’ and 'I do not care' attitude. Free yourself from the continuous control by ignoring whatever he does. Avoid calculating how complicated your life is while he is having fun. You are separated now, so do not look for any equality. Do not contact him for anything; let the court system or your lawyer help with the divorce process. I admit that this attitude is an easy thing to talk about, and a very hard task to maintain. That is why many in your situation need good continuous professional guidance, and as said above, Online Counseling is an easy way to reach for it.

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