Do Poor Relationship Have a Chance to Improve? What Do We Know (so far) about Human Behavior that Allows an Answer?
Here are some basic facts and agreed upon assumptions that have a valuable impact regarding relationship advice, therapy, online counseling and traditional modes of counseling: they all do have a chance! Once we take a special look at the ‘Intimacy Factor’, we may declare the following positive statement: Poor relationship has 66% chance to be fixed.
1. Human beings are biological creatures – our biology determines our behavior to a grate extent, but we are not rigidly programmed by it.
2. Every person is different, yet much the same – our personalities, intellects and interests differ, but we are similar in our capacities to think, feel, remember and so on.
3. People can be understood fully only in the context of their cultural, ethnic identity and gender identity – since beliefs about right and wrong, food preference, language usage, religious practice, as well as male or female essence are influenced by the socio-cultural forces.
4. Human lives are a continuous process of change – because of the biological tract that leads us from infancy to old age, and because of life events and experiences.
5. Behavior is motivated – and helps us to meet our needs. However, not all our motives are simple or easy to reveal.
6. Human are social animals – and not only in order to accomplish things that single individuals cannot. We need company. We suffer when we are lonely.
7. People play an active part in creating their experiences – the human nervous system interprets the outside world and creates the reality for us.
8. Behavior can be adoptive or maladaptive – and each direction could be changed.
The following traits were isolated, along with the estimated percentage of the inherited trait:
• Extroversion (mixed easily, likes to be the center of attention): 61%
• Conformity (respects tradition and authority; follows the rules): 60%
• Worry (easily distressed and frustrated; feels vulnerable): 55%
• Creativity (tendency to become lost in thought and abstraction): 55%
• Paranoia (feels exploited, thinks “world is out to get me”): 55%
• Optimism (confident, cheerful, upbeat): 54%
• Cautiousness (avoids risks and dangers; takes safe route): 51%
• Aggressiveness (tends to be violent; has a taste for revenge): 48%
• Ambitiousness (works hard to achieve goals; perfectionist): 46%
• Orderliness (plans carefully; tries to make rational decisions): 43%
• Intimacy (prefers emotional closeness): 33%
The basic known facts and agreed upon assumptions about human behavior creates a valuable impact regarding counseling and therapy. Once we put together all we know about human nature, the optimistic point of view must capture our horizons.
The conclusion is both simple and impressive: we all are capable to adopt and change; relationship advice, therapy, online counseling and traditional modes of counseling do have a chance!
Dr. Joseph Abraham, Director, Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA Tel 717-943.0959 A Psychologist, Online Life Coach, Marriage Counselor and Relationship Advice provider. Psychologist and Life Coach Online Counseling and Small Business Advice